Romaine Calm

Cooking is my therapy. The focus of starting a project, following directions, and then relishing in the finished product is complete satisfaction. And if you’ve been reading my work for a while you know that I didn’t always feel this way about making my own food. I despised staying within the guidelines of a recipe, often derailed and ended up with something not fit to eat. I wasn’t good at it and I cried many tears. It was a whole thing for me.

And now I love it. Cooking shows, reading recipe notes, and even making playlists to accompany my kitchen aspirations calms me. Once I started to strictly followed a recipe I got better. I learned where I could have leeway and where I need to stay on track. I still follow the directions pretty closely, but I look forward to the day when I won’t even need a recipe. #goals

Julia & Julia is one of my favorite movies. The cooking, the writing, Stanley Tucci… I mean Meryl Steep for goodness sake…all things I love. Every time I watch it, I think, “I want to write and cook my way through a cookbook.” Well, I started. I’m not fully committing to writing about every piece and experience. But I’m going to cook, and if you see me in real life, or on the internet, I’m sure you’ll hear about it.

The Complete Mediterranean Cookbook, by America’s Test Kitchen, is my guidebook. I’ve always loved Mediterranean food, and the common ingredients are often what my nutritionist says I should be eating. As I type, the Olive Oil Yogurt Cake is cooling on my kitchen counter. I can smell the sweet warmth and look forward to drizzling it with the lemon glaze.

On Monday, I started with Provençal Vegetable Soup and was shocked by how good it was. The pistou was the hero of the dish. It’s a simple french take on pesto: fresh basil leaves, parmesan cheese, olive oil, and garlic. The elegant and reliable combination created pure bliss. Pasta imported from Italy also ensured a delicious meal. I took the time to assemble the best quality and freshest ingredients I could find locally. The following morning I toasted thick, crusty bread and delighted in soup at 7 am… I couldn’t get enough. On Tuesday, I made Chickpea Cakes with Herbed Yogurt Sauce and tomorrow I plan on making Spanish-Style Braised Chicken and Almonds. All notes are being taken and recorded in my bullet journal to be sure and document this portion of my life.

While it did take many years of trial and error, today I can rely on the fulfillment of my cooking. A special interest I can devote time and energy into when my grief gets heavy. And cooking flows nicely into hosting, another activity that moves my grief around. 

As said in Julia & Julia, “You know what I love about cooking?...I love that after a day when nothing is sure, and when I say nothing, I mean nothing, you can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It’s such a comfort.” 

Cooking is predictable. 

Cooking is steady. 

Cooking is something I can rely on. 

What does that for you?